Humours of Vacation
John snored happily, exhausted after the hassle at the airport with an angry young woman called Sophie. Something about accidentally touching her. His head was falling sideways before it hit the back of his chair. He hadn’t noticed a young woman to the side of him.
Sophie was strapping on her seatbelt when she heard a thump on her shoulder. She looked down and found a shiny bald head resting upon her expensive new cardigan. She slapped John’s head forcefully until he woke up groggily.
‘Hello,’ he mumbled, half asleep, half awake. ‘W-w-w-what did I miss? Why are you leaning on me?’
‘Tuck your shirt in, straighten up and don’t bother me,’ she snapped. ‘I will not have it, baldie.’
The flight ended. John rose out of his chair and started mindlessly walking down the aisle. Once he got off the plane, he spotted Sophie on the other end of the hallway. He started jogging to get ahead of her. She walked faster.
‘We meet again, baldie.’ Sophie growled. Soon it became a full-on race. John accidentally tipped a bucket over, soaking a cleaner.
‘Sorry bye’ he said hurriedly, flying off into the distance. Soon he was crossing to the baggage reclaiming service and smashed the baggage off a foreigner. ‘Maledetto idiota!’ he shouted as John raced past. John frantically scanned for his luggage and smashed into the conveyor belt, leaving a dent in it. He then frantically wrenched the luggage and raced towards the exit. He was about to get to it…
Sophie was in a full race with John. She looked to her right and saw a special mobility vehicle.
She climbed on top of it and cranked up the speed level. She was speeding through a sea of people. They fled to either side, nearly squashed by the oncoming mobility vehicle. A soaked cleaner looked behind him to see a mobility vehicle towering over him, advancing menacingly. He ducked and the machine went past him.
‘Can… You… Go… Slower…’ croaked the elderly grandmother before fainting.
‘Nope,’ Sophie replied, reaching out to grab her luggage.
Sophie leaped off the vehicle and raced towards the exit.
A cleaner was cowering on the floor. He opened his eyes and saw two people racing towards him, both at full speed. ‘Hindi na naman yung dalawang tanga.’ he muttered…
John sat down in the hotel bar and ordered a cup of beer. He relaxed for a while and watched some TV. At least, until there was some breaking news about some inconveniences at the airport. John got into his en suite hotel room, took a long nice shower, charged his phone, and immediately fell into a deep sleep. He couldn’t wait to meet his roommate.
A hand forcefully slapped John’s face. He rolled over in his sleep. Another slap. And another. No less that 78 slaps descended on John’s face until he woke up. When he did, the sight of Sophie’s face jolted him fully awake. ‘Stand up!’ she barked. ‘Okay,’ he grumbled.
The next day, John tiptoed past Sophie. He didn’t want to wake her up. Creeping past, John suddenly had an idea.
With a big yawn, she heard a knock from the door. ‘Madam, breakfast is about to be served in ten minutes!’
Groaning, she yelled: ‘Coming!’
Thudding down onto her bathroom, she looked into the mirror. Halfway around the world, people could hear Sophie’s scream. Looking on, she spotted her hair. It was dyed blood red, with what seemed like blood sprinkled onto her face. She knew who this was. ‘John!’ she screeched with such ferocity and power and her voice trailed away, lasting forever…
John snickered as she howled with such might. The hotel bar shook with all the ferocity of a bull shaking with all his rage. The foreign bartender stood up. ‘I think the is the dogs stray.’
As he snickered away, a blood-soaked monster lurked in the dark mists of the terrifying, treacherous women’s bathroom.
‘Mark my words,’ she snarled. ‘There will be blood. THERE WILL BE BLOOD!’ she howled away at the ceiling, hate rising over her body……………